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I Only Drink On Days Ending In “Y”

I Only Drink On Days Ending In “Y”
July 06
07:22 2019

By: Mike Rudon Jr.

I discovered an amazing thing this past week. Truly mind-blowing. I think there are more than seven people who read this column. I think there may be as many as nine. I haven’t yet done a comprehensive analysis, but I think my humble column, the rant of an alcoholic with a gift for words (if I do say so myself) has gone viral. Nine whole readers. My unending gratitude to the seven who have been along for the journey, and welcome to those two who have come on board.

Growing up I hung out with a bunch of older guys. Orange Walk used to be our stomping grounds. We used to drink. And drink some more. And when we got tired of drinking, we’d drink some more. Drinking was such an amazingly cool thing that we called ourselves the Cako’s Club. I understand this legendary Cako (don’t remember the spelling because I was usually drunk) was some old drunk from Orange Walk, so he became our hero. I think we even got T-shirts at some point, with the slogan – ‘We Only Drink on Days Ending in Y.’ Boy, were we clever! And drunk a lot of the time. The good old days.

I still see some of those guys around. A couple are probably dead. A couple moved away. A couple still drink like the club never disbanded. And a couple stopped drinking because if they didn’t they would be dead. I guess I’m remembering this story because at the time we were on top of the world. We were drinking. And it was okay. I don’t think any of us ever in those days thought we had a problem with alcohol. Hell, to give you an idea of how good those days really were – I barely remember any of it. All a blur.

Today I know I am a drunk. I don’t like to use the word alcoholic. It sounds too cultured, too sophisticated. Alcoholics are probably those people who can afford to drink in high-class bars every weekend until they pass out, or drink Courvoisier at home on their balconies until they vomit all over themselves and all over their Egyptian cotton sheets. Those are the ones who fall asleep in A/C rooms so that they don’t stink of rancid liquor sweat so much when they wake. They’re the ones who can go to a whorehouse and buy six girls and drinks for everybody and close the bar and feel like they’re king of the world for a minute. Those are alcoholics, I guess.

But I don’t fool myself. Yes, in my day I could go into a bar with $1000 in my pocket. And yes, in my day I closed quite a few bars. I’ve gotten drunk with some real society people, and I’ve vomited in some classy hotel rooms, no doubt. But I’m a drunk. Don’t argue with me. I’m a drunk. Where alcohol is concerned, there is no real difference between me and the man sleeping on the sidewalk. There are differences in our situations, yes. I have a job. And I have family. And I have real friends. But where alcohol is concerned, I am them, and they are me. I think that’s important to understand. Because some of us are still blind.

I’ve been on this journey a while now, and it is teaching me things about myself I never knew. In my own mind, I’ve gone from this place of complete darkness, to a place where things are coming together in my life. I’m a drunk, but I don’t drink anymore. I never believed I would find this place. I literally thought I would die, and for a time, I didn’t even care. Maybe there were times I didn’t want to die because I thought I would miss rum & cokes. Truth.

There are a lot of people out there who need help. Some of you have reached out to me. And I’m glad for that. There are a lot of people who don’t realize that they need help. I talk to you a lot of the time too. And I see you, with your ‘I have to drink every day until I pass out, but I can stop any time I want’ self. Been there, never stopped. I have talked to people who drink much more than I did before I stopped, all those 37 days ago, and they tell me that they’re not true true alcoholics. So they don’t really want to stop completely – they just want to ease back a little. They just want to learn to control it. So that they can take two or three or four and stop. Been there, never eased back. Never happened. Good luck with that.

I play big and bad a lot of the time. Well mostly big, and I can’t exactly help that. But I put all that aside, and sweating like a pig, I stood up in a room and I said – my name is Mike, and I’m an alcoholic. And I found a home in a place which wasn’t a bar, and where there wasn’t any alcohol. I never believed I could do it. I can’t explain what happened. All I know is this, and I’ll keep writing it every week if I have to. I’m a different person today than I was 37 days ago. Like night and day. Do it. Reach out. Get help. Here if you need me. My number is #671-0731. My email is We know how it feels to be drunk. Let’s find out how it feels to be sober.

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